Just the other day, someone asked my sister what I do, and she breezily declared "Nothing!" That's not true at all. Why just yesterday I consulted my lawyer to have a benificiary removed from my will. :: ba dump bump :: In truth, I wear many hats, but most of them don't actually come with a pay check.

As the family's Chief Interpreter of Medical Parlance (work with me here, people), I feel I am uniquely qualified to translate this article so that even my sister can understand it.

Primary intracranial germ cell tumors are rare. They account for only 2-5% of all CNS malignancies, with only 50 new cases diagnosed per year. The most common subtype is the germinoma, representing at least 50% of these CNS germ cell tumors.

We always thought Chase was one in a million, but I think we're going to have to increase that latter number, with only about 25 new cases of germinoma a year here in the US.

The mortality rate is minimal for germinomas.

My interpretation - YEAH!

The best survival and least long-term morbidity appear to be achieved with a combination of both chemotherapy and radiation. The ideal regimen has yet to be defined and is limited by the rarity of this tumor.

It's still going to be a tough slog.

Important long-term sequelae and complications of cranial and craniospinal irradiation include intellectual deterioration, endocrine dysfunction, hearing loss, growth arrest, marrow suppression, damage to the gonadal organs, and a cumulative 20-year likelihood of a secondary malignancy, estimated at 12%.

Chemotherapy also warrants careful consideration and is prone to causing undesirable adverse effects. Cisplatin is traditionally associated with nephrotoxicity, ototoxicity, neuropathy, and sterility. Etoposide is associated with an increased risk of secondary malignancy.

These two paragraphs are the bad news. Radiation and chemo can cause damage, both short and long. Kidneys, hearing, fertility, and the possibility of cancer down the road. This is where his age works against him, since he has a long time for this damage to manifest.

Most cognitive deficits in the subjects in this study were attributed to a baseline insult from the location of the tumor at the time of diagnosis.

Isn't medical jargon colorful? Baseline insult. So, since Chase had no damage to his brain before the tumor was discovered and the pressure was reduced, chances are he won't have any long term damage. He can still run for President (and I can continue to believe he's nuts!)

I hope this isn't too much information, but as the family's ChIMP (see above), I felt it was my duty. And if the oncologist doesn't call soon, I can also fling poop.